OK....All of us Mexico kids need to keep a countdown by commenting as another day goes by for the trip! We can all get pumped in the comments!
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| The True You | 
You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed.
With respect to money, you spend as little as possible.
You think good luck doesn't exist - reality is built on practicalities.
The hidden side of your personality tends to be satisfied to care for things with a minimal amount of effort.
You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked.
When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you will search and search until you find your perfect match. |
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So tonight was the first of the shows. Not too bad I must say. Miss Riggles was there and I wanted to jump out the window. Thank God Posey and John didn't go....
Latley everything has been really weird. The other night was really rough
My Mom and Sister were talking about adopting another girl from Ukraine or China or something...and I'm like "HELLO WHAT ABOUT MARIYA" and my Mom's like "We're not getting her". Those words stung into me and I was suddenly depressed. I almost cried. I couldn't get it off my mind. I love her so much. I went to bed after that rehearsal and thought about the time she spent here. And then I remember the camping trip, where we packed all our bags and Mariya's and she thought we were sending her back...like she was unwanted and I just cried. NO person should ever feel unwanted and there are so many kids. And I thought about her, in her bed at night, laying there and thinking about a better life, and then I invisioned her getting kicked out of the orphanage when she is older and becoming a prostitute...and I cried even harder. I don't want that life for her. She deserves a better life. NO ONE can replace her. No other child coming into our family could do that...I love her too much
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Last night was pretty much awesome. Movies, Pizza, Cake, Laughing...Fashion Show? Frank kept talking about seeing Alyssa in that "hot" dress she dressed up in and then went to talk about seeing her naked....and I was like "eeewww" and he was like "why" and I told him that's almost like seeing my sister naked because we've known each other for so long. We watched Christmas Vacation, which I'm surprised that everyone liked but all is good. That's about it.
Oh yeah Hannah- your brother is so annoying
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Wow…I haven’t updated this in awhile
Today I ran to Hannah’s house and we ran Snakes. It was a nice run, but I was really wet. We talked about a lot of random shit like bones hurting to Christmas. It was a nice 8 mileish (for me) run. We bumped into the Boys Indoor team, which most are assholes, so I didn’t really care. Retards. Then I was all soaking wet and I had like 7 oreos and some seltzer and Hannah’s mom brought me home (Yay! No more wetness!) Oh yeah, showers are amazing :P
School has been a bit weird. I’m doing good in a lot of my class, but not Geometry. I hate the people that are in the C classes that get high honors. They should be moved up. I challenge myself. That’s why I don’t get High Honors a lot, I realized. I push myself. I pushed myself into Bio A and I have an A- and I ASKED to be moved into Bio A. And now I’m getting into Algebra 2 A next year if it kills me. I want to be the best I can be. I need to brake out of my lazy math habits and actually work really hard. I’m really surprised that I am doing well in Mattei’s class and Bio. I really want to work hard this quarter. Band is pretty cool but I don’t really like Chorus. I don’t like to sing that much (with harmonies and stuff) so I’m not taking chorus next year.
My friends have been so amazing to me lately. We are hanging out a lot and I love it. Everyone (well…except maybe a few peeps lol) is being really cool. Ally and I have been having a lot of movie nights, which I love. Rachel is my awesome English and Spanish buddy. Zak is just cool in general. Jeff G, Jimmy, and Senya have actually been really nice to me lately (????). They are actually cool people once you meet them. My *ahem* other friends are the amazing (lol you guys know I love ya). I love the hangout nights and the Selberg X-blocks. Kristie has been the best, as usual. Moo is schweeeeeeet too
Thanksgiving was incredible. Kristie and I made all the food and had a total blast doing it. It was really great not to see my grandparents not tired this one Thanksgiving from cooking, and we are definitely doing it next year too! The family didn’t stop praising how good the food was. I don’t think they were kissing our asses or anything, so that was good. It was raining though. The night before, Kristie and I watched the Lake House. It was really depressing and I….cried a bit. I said it. I did lol. It was really depressing. I mean I wasn’t balling, like a tear or 2 went down my cheeks. The Macy’s parade was great too! I love watching it! Diana DeGarmo performed and she was really good. Katharine McPhee, Carrie Underwood, and Rascal Flatts were amazing as always.
I have many new obsessions too! Reese Witherspoon is pretty much about my favorite person in the world. I saw Walk the Line and it is now one of my most favorite movies ever. I love all her movies. She’s amazing. She’s not a bad singer either. I hope they make another Legally Blonde movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would freak out and go see it like 50 times. In fact, I’m going to watch Legally Blonde 2 after this.
That’s about it for right now. PLEASE COMMENT SO I FEEL LOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Derek's party was awesome. I had so much fun with Ally and everyone dancing and stuff. I got Derek deoderent which was definetly the making of my whole week (so clever). I love hanging out with Ally! She's awesome
Speaking of Ally, we went to see Borat last night and it was hilarious. One of the funniest movies I've seen in awhile. I plan on going on Saturday night again if anyone wants to come! Hit the cell...
That's about it. Peace :)
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So I decided to go on an 8 mile run today and I was running and listening to the brand new Kellie Pickler album (awesome album, btw) and I finished running and I was exausted but I was like "Wow...I feel so much better!!" I feel more calm after I run...it saves me almost (like in PE with Hannah). Running= <3
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Today was another horrible day. What the hell! The Craft Fair was pretty boring and I told Caroline I liked her and that was a bust. She didn't flip out or anything she just said she loved to hang out with me but...(that's all I'm saying). And then we started talking about Mariya and it all smacked me in the face again. Mariya probably isn't coming back here and I have to face that realtiy but it is so hard because I want to hold on but it hurts so bad! I have to keep my faith but if she doesn't come I will be broken inside. I will just all around be a wreck. The situation can only result in my heartbreaking or her mother's heartbreaking...and for the best of her I guess it should be my heartbreaking. But if her mother doesn't want her, than thats another story, but that is highly unlikely. I'm going to cry right now. I love her so much and I thought I was escaping this but it all came back to me. At least I get to see the Funaro's adopted boys soon but I will cry when I see them in front of everyone and hug them tightly although I don't even know them. Those kids need to know someone out there loves them and I definetly do. But when I cry I know Mariya will come into my mind and I will cry more...in front of Caroline. Yippee.
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So I got home tonight from Hannah’s and I feel totally depressed. All of this needs to come out. I’m not one for drama but this the way it is. I probably will be without friends for a while after this but that’s how it must be. My emotions have been bottled up inside me for so long that it is driving me insane and I really need help.
A lot of my friends are really, REALLY pissing me off right now. It’s actually most of them. All the small derogatory and hurtful comments that have been made at me from the beginning of the year have been kept inside me and I am going to yell and scream and cry. I don’t appreciate the mean comments I have received like “You don’t know anything” or “Why do we even associate ourselves with you”. If you don’t want to be my friends, tell me. Don’t leave me hanging like this figuring out what the hell is going on. I am entitled to my own opinion and it is so hurtful to me when it is shot down and stomped on (like Robin Hood: Men In Tights for example). HELLO! I AM A PERSON TOO! I HAVE FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS JUST LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE AND YOU CAN’T JUST MAKE JOKES AT ME AND LAUGH THEM OFF. I HAVE EMOTIONS! Just because I don’t like what some of you like doesn’t mean that you can parade around me like you are the rulers of the world. Ever since someone has gotten a boyfriend, she has been a total bitch to me and thinks she is the Queen of the World when no one really cares if she has a boyfriend or not (I think this person is pretty obvious). Some people are being really mean and immature and totally 4th gradish with their habits that it is really pissing me off too. The total rudeness of a lot of people is scary. Some of them I really want to strangle. And to be honest, I felt like an outsider sitting in at the party tonight. I really did. I wanted to cry halfway through it when everyone was making such a big deal about Scary Movie 4 and Paris Hilton and relating it to me that I wanted to kill them. It’s so annoying and dumb to think I am obsessive with Paris Hilton and then to belittle me with comments about it. Get over yourselves. It is so hard for me to write this right now without breaking this laptop.
And SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much is going on too. I am so stressed out with school and the pressure for good grades and my friend problems that I can’t handle it. I can’t. I’m going to break down; I just can't handle all of this. I’ve never felt like this before.
My OTHER and more nicer friends at the moment though are being such a comfort for me. Kristie is such an amazing person. She’s my cousin but I love her like a sister and a best friend. She can always give me advice. And Moo and Cwik are amazing too and all my other 1,000 friends there. You guys always make my life better when you are there. Maybe I should move to Southington and I would be accepted more. But Rachel, you are making such a big difference in making me laugh all the time and always being there and especially for always being positive about me and not making rude remarks. Ally (especially) and Abby too. I love you guys right now more than anything. We are definetly doing something on Friday or something and having an awesome time. I always look forward to seeing you guys at school. I feel like I can be myself around you guys and not have to worry about being made fun of and laughing with you guys all the time lol. Much love <3
Wow. So that was a really emo entry and I feel like crying right now but I won’t. I’ll let destiny sort out this problem because I know for a fact some of my current friends right now will be lost forever, but that’s the way it must be and I have to accept that. If someone has a problem with this entry, sorry but tough shit. It needed to all come out and I feel so much better that it has all come out and I have been able to deal with some of this by myself. Some of you on Livejournal this doesn’t relate to at all (OK…it’s Alyssa and Deanne at the current moment to be honest, and Hannah a bit). Zak is the only one that has not bothered me once though, surprisingly lol. He’s a great friend too.
OK…That’s it
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The past few days have been really strange for me. My newer friends are talking to me a lot and we are having so much fun and my older friends pissed me off a bit today. Some of them have no respect for other's opinions but I don't want to offend anyone or anything...it just got me a bit pissed, but I still love all my friends
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OMG Last night was so much fun!!!!! We were all dancing the whole time like assholes! I got my groove on with Abby, Caroline, Carly, and Texas a bit. All I can say is that the dance itself was a lot of fun. They played great dance music!
Ally's heart got crushed, and so did mine...sorta (not to the same extent). I realized we were in the same position. She likes someone to find out he likes someone else. I got put in that position last night when I was dancing with someone and I realized that I liked this person, but she likes someone else. I felt like shit after that.
Kevin finally kissed Jenna after I had to talk to him for hours on AIM but it came out good.
We went to Friendly's afterwards and on the car ride there we all sang Bohemiem Rhapsody. It was amazing. It was basically Bill, Me, and Kevin singing it and Abby and Jenna were laughing the whole time.
OMG I SAW THE MOST GHETTO SHIT THERE! The kids from Vinal started a cirlce and had like a dance off with the "oooooh shitt!!!" thing and they had the 2 groups and they like had a war and we were all laughing so hard. I'll have to tell you in person. It was hysterical
Can't wait for Semi!
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The field trip we went on today was so fun! Jenna and I were rockin with the iPod on the bus and that pizza and ice cream was amazing!
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Today was a big mess...in terms of emotions. There was so much drama associated with certain people and it's really driving me crazy...it's that feeling where you don't want to get involved but you kinda already are since you are friends with that person...It was too much for me. I didn't really talk too much to people because I didn't want to put myself in a positon. I just want it all to stop...I don't really even get how it evolved in the first place
Today was the last XC meet of the season and I am REALLY REALLY REALLY going to miss it. I didn't really try today and a freshman almost beat me but he didn't. I am really sad that it is over. I'm getting second thoughts about doing Indoor now but I still probably won't do it. Can't wait for Outdoor!!!
That's about it...gonna go do my Falvey timeline now
Homecoming is Saturday!!!
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The cabaret last night was awesome. I went in thinking that it was going to be pretty bad but it was actually good. The food was amazing..what else is new? I loved the bread!!! The performances were really good and SC did really good too...yes, I am in utter shock. I hope that next year's goes as well. Afterwards, we were like all on crack. My brother was throwing water bottles in the street and cars would run over then and all of us would die laughing. We made fun of Jenna some more than normal about Kevin with Derek and Zak...it was pretty awesome. I need to go ice my bruse from Posey...she beat me with a shoe jokingly because I scared the shit out of her about the next number in the song (I said we were on and she freaked out and ran down the hallway). Good times...Good times. Eeeeewww. School tomorrow
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Last night was pretty freckin amazing. I had so much fun. The movie was so funny and I got to cheer Ally up. I've been worried about her a lot so I was glad that we got to all go out and laugh a lot. Shiloh, Ab, and Ally went with me and we saw Employee of the Month...it was freckin hilarious. I saw Jaime too there and we sat next to her...small world right?
I hear that Jenna and her gang had a good time last night...I really did want to go :/
I watched Return to Halloweentown last night and it was HORRIBLE. It killed the entire series. The other movies were really good and this one was terrible. They stuck the gay guy from HSM in there and the girl who played Marnie was really bad....I mean no offense to her but the other girl was like meant for the part
I had PSATs today. They sucked. My cousin's cell went off during them *rolleyes*
Cabaret tonight...kinda excited. I wanted to go to LC but at least the food rocks. SC will do terrible...what else is new?
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Today at Chorus was pretty sweet. As you can read above, we had so much fun. John and Caroline are really nice people and I'm glad I'm stuck with Caroline the whole year :). My chorus class is pretty fun...the people in it are awesome
Today we ran Bear Rock in the rain in my new CRHS long sleve shirt. It was like only 4 miles but it was wet and cold....Can't wait to wear spandex next time!!
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So this weekend has been a big blab of crap basically. I have so much confirmation information to finish that I am never finishing and I am trying to save my grade in Mattei's class. It's really hard. Damn I hate school
Friday night was amazing. Great movie...tons of cool peeps (yes, including Bill), and really really good Ice Cream (thanks again Hannah)
The parade today went pretty good. Didn't seem long at all for some reason and the drummers were decent. Bravo. They're bright enough to smack a drum with a stick
Tomorrow is my confirmation retreat. Don't have all my paperwork done for them. Tough shit. I don't care. They can wait. I have tons more important things to do right now and I honestly have no will to be confirmed because of all the crap we are going through.
That's enough..ta-ta bitches
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The VC/COG HAWKS finally won a football game!!!!!
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So Sunday night was the big night….the CARRIE UNDERWOOD CONCERT!!!
First off…I can’t believe my Mom actually took me because she really doesn’t like country music so I was thrilled. We left the house at about 1:30 after confirmation class :/ and then we were on the road to the Big E. Oh yeah…I forgot 1 thing….it was raining. But I wouldn’t call it raining…it was pouring. Absolutely torrential. So of course driving up there…I’m watching the latest Simple Life season on my iPod, lmao and my Mom is driving…probably thinking what the hell am I doing here and I’m hoping she doesn’t turn around and my brother and sister are fighting…typical
So we arrive at the Big E and the sun comes out and we find the line for the Carrie concert and Alexis and I took turns alternating waiting for 1 hour either eating or watching the iPod video and my Mom and brother are walking around. We were actually fairly close up but I didn’t realize how close we really were. TONS and TONS of people came and there were random gaps in the line and I was at the start of one of them and everyone would be like “oh..this is the end” and the security guard would say..nope..keep on walking
So at 5:30 they finally let us in and my sister and I dashed in to find…we were in the 7th row!!! We were so close (for a FREE concert…that was awesome!!!). The concert started at 7 so before we watched that we ate some food and looked at some merchandise…and then the most horrible thing happened. It started raining. 6pm it began to pour and of course, the concert was in an amphitheater so we all had umbrellas and water was dripping all over the place and it rained for about 1 hour and then it stopped and Blue County..the opening band…came on. Needless to say they were terrible. The lead singer wanted to be a rock star and was trying to act like one when he’s a country singer…so it was scary
Then…at 8:15…Carrie came on! MY GOD was she beautiful up close. She wore at green zipper-up sweatshirt and jeans…simple enough. Her voice was so pure on all her songs…and she nailed the high notes like they were nothing. She came out and was like “Y’all are crazy for staying out here for me in this horrible weather…but thank you so much!! I hope none of y’all get sick because of me” (it was cold lol). My personal favorite was Inside Your Heaven..because she sounded JUST like the recorded version and probably better than it. Some Hearts sounded amazing and she hit and held that high note at the end and it was just…WOW!! Before He Cheats, Don’t Forget To Remember Me, and Jesus, Take The Wheel were amazing too. She sang till 9:30—and it was a free concert! Not to diss Kelly Clarkson…but we paid $75 for her and she sang for 1 hour…not even! Carrie also sung a few Guns and Roses tunes that were awesome because they were pure rock and roll and she sang them so amazingly. We left at about 9ish because we needed to take the hour drive back to CT because it was a Sunday night. Fortunately for me, there was no signing afterwards so I was really happy. I couldn’t hear out of my left ear the next day because it was so loud…but it was worth it!!
I will try and get some of the pictures up here but I need to brighten them up a bit.
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futureidol08's journal
calm
cold
drained
tired
blah
pessimistic
frustrated
exhausted
bouncy
Yayyyyy!
hyper
Confirmation sucks